Every parent reaches that point where the bedtime routine feels less like a routine and more like a negotiation with a tiny dictator. One more story. One more drink of water. One more trip to the toilet. Sound familiar?

Here are five things that actually helped us turn bedtime from a battleground into something (mostly) peaceful.

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1. Start Winding Down Earlier Than You Think

If bedtime is 7pm, the wind-down needs to start by 6pm. Screens off, lights dimmer, voices quieter. Children need time to shift gears — they can’t go from running around the living room to lying still in bed in five minutes. Neither can most adults, to be fair.

2. Make the Routine Predictable and Short

Bath, pyjamas, teeth, story, bed. Keep it the same every night and keep it under 30 minutes. Children find comfort in knowing what comes next. When the routine is predictable, there’s less room for negotiation because everyone knows the drill.

3. Give Them Some Control

Let them choose between two pairs of pyjamas. Let them pick which story. These small choices give children a sense of control within the structure you’ve set — which means they’re less likely to fight the bits they can’t control (like the fact that bedtime is actually happening).

4. Handle the Callbacks Calmly

When they call out for that extra drink or suddenly need to tell you something urgent about dinosaurs, keep your response brief, boring, and warm. “I love you, it’s time to sleep now.” The less entertaining your response, the quicker the callbacks stop.

5. Be Consistent, Even When It’s Hard

The first few nights of holding a boundary can feel brutal. But consistency is the single most powerful tool you have. If you stick with it, most children settle into the new normal within a week or two. And future you will be grateful.

Bedtime won’t be perfect every night — but it doesn’t have to be a battle. Small changes, stuck to consistently, make a surprisingly big difference.